Behind the Smile
by DawningDay
Summary: In the two weeks since Andy's departure for college Woody has been the cheerful, optimistic and driven character that the other Toys have come to expect, however Buzz suspects his friend to be feeling the loss far more than he is letting on.


As Woody watched Andy's car disappear down the drive and away into the distance he swallowed hard against the lump which suddenly appeared in his throat. 'Don't think Woody', he told himself, 'just keep busy'.

Buzz stood looking across Bonnie's room, watching his friend. A small frown crossed his face. He couldn't shake his feeling of concern. It wasn't that Woody appeared to be struggling in settling into their new home, quite the opposite actually! Since their arrival as Bonnie's new toys Woody seemed to have slid quite comfortably into a natural leadership role. Though new, Woody had a natural presence about him which inspired trust and respect. Even only having known him for such a short time Bonnie's old toys could see it and were happy to accept and even embrace Woody's suggestions towards improving the systems in Bonnie's room; implementing 'Staff Meetings' and other functions. No toy was too small for Woody's notice or interest, a kind word, and it made him immediately liked and respected.

Watching as Woody busied himself sorting out the toy chest and talking with their newest comrades Buzz tried to understand where his worries were stemming from. Woody _seemed_ happy; so why didn't he feel convinced?

In the days since Andy had left for college Buzz had kept a close eye on his friend, knowing that- in Andy growing up and leaving- all that Woody had dreaded for the past 17 years had come to fruition ; their playtime with Andy had ended. Buzz felt the loss himself. His years in Andy's room learning the simple joys of being a toy loved by a child were the happiest he had ever known; not to mention the friendships he had made which he knew would last a lifetime. Buzz knew, as did all the others, that if Andy had to grow up then they couldn't have landed a better second home than with Bonnie, but that didn't stop the pangs of homesickness. He knew they all felt it. Each of the toys missed Andy and all had spoken about him; reminiscing about past games and adventures.

...except Woody. Buzz frowned again. Now he thought about it, had his friend mentioned Andy even once since he left? Every time the conversation turned to their previous owner Woody had either responded with gusto that this was their new home now and everyone had to look forward to the future, or else had suddenly discovered something which needed doing and spent the next hour or so in a whirl of activity. Had Buzz not known Woody better he may have believed Woody to have simply accepted the loss of Andy and moved on, but he knew that couldn't be the case. Buzz thought back over the years- to the time where Woody had believed a Space Ranger named 'Buzz Lightyear' was coming between him and his beloved Andy, to the time where Woody had been content on spending his life behind a pane of glass in a museum just to avoid the pain of having to see Andy grow up and leave him behind.

So what was he avoiding now?

Sometimes, Buzz would glance at Woody and- in an unguarded moment- catch a shadow of sadness upon his friend's face. A second later Woody would seem to shake it off and it would be gone; as though it had never been at all. Now, two weeks after Andy's departure to college, Buzz was still watching his friend; but seeing nothing new. Why?

Buzz shook himself. What was the use of worrying? Probably Woody _was_ feeling the loss of Andy more than he was letting on. Maybe this was just his way of coping. After all, if it _was_, and it was working for him then who was he to question it? Not thinking was probably less painful. Maybe Woody had the right idea.

Buzz woke with a start. Something was wrong. Looking around him, his eyes fell on the spot on Bonnie's bed where Woody usually slept. Bonnie lay sleeping peacefully, the tiny smile of pleasant dreams on her face; but Woody was not there. What was he doing? Buzz glanced at the clock by Bonnie's bed. 5:05am. What was he playing at? Bonnie was an early riser, awake by 6am most mornings; what if she should wake and find him not there? He knew better than that! Carefully, taking care not to jostle Bonnie or make any noise, Buzz eased himself to the very edge of the bed and dropped to the floor. The room was silent except for the quiet sound of Bonnie breathing. Guided by the faint glow coming from the nightlight on the dresser Buzz headed for the bedroom door; sliding it open just enough for him to squeeze through.

The landing was in semi-darkness, but as Buzz's eyes began to adjust to the gloom he could make out the faintest glow coming from a storage room on the left. Puzzled, Buzz eased himself towards the door and pressed an ear to it, listening. It was very faint, but he was almost certain he could hear the faint sounds of someone inside. It didn't sound loud enough for it to be either of Bonnie's parents. It had to be Woody. Strangely uneasy, Buzz eased the door open, taking care not to make a sound.

Suspicions correct. In the dusty little room- not much bigger than a large cupboard- sat a Cowboy doll; huddled alone on the cold, wooden floorboards. The faint glow of light came from a small torch sat by Woody's side; the only source of light in the room. His back to the door, Woody had not noticed his friend's arrival. Seeing that Woody held something in his hand, Buzz squinted to see what it was. His heart sank like stone as he realised that Woody was holding his boot upturned; tracing his fingers over the place where Buzz knew the word 'Andy' was written. His own emotions rising in him, Buzz did not trust himself to lift up his own foot; to see the name written by a little boy all those years ago. Buzz's intention had been to find Woody but now that he had he discovered him he didn't know what to do. His suspicions had been confirmed- Woody was missing Andy more than he had ever let on- but what was he supposed to say to make things any better? He missed him too.

His mind made up, Buzz took a quiet step backwards to ease himself back out of the room. Maybe he would speak to Woody about this at a later date if opportunity allowed, but right now Woody clearly wanted to be alone and he felt he should respect that. As he went to step backwards from the room however the torchlight illuminated Woody's face. To Buzz's dismay he saw the traces of tears flowing silently down Woody's cheeks, falling onto the fingers which caressed Andy's name.

Buzz's breath caught in his throat and he froze. He didn't know what to say or do. Unaware of his presence, Woody continued to sit quietly, tracing his fingers over Andy's name- now wet with his tears; consumed in his own misery. Buzz stood still in a kind of horror. He had suspected, he had _known_; and yet he didn't want to believe. He fought between two separate instincts which tugged in different directions: the urge to make himself known and somehow find the right words to comfort his friend, and the urge to run from the room, shutting the door behind him and blocking out what he had never wanted to see. Suddenly, as though there was a voice speaking in his ear, he heard the words spoken by Andy on that final day:

"...what makes Woody special... never give up on you"

The voice faded and Buzz snapped back to the present. Woody had never given up on him either, and he couldn't turn his back at the moment he most needed a friend.

Hesitantly, Buzz stepped forward.

"...Woody?" Silence. The only sign of his friend having heard him being the slight tension Buzz saw appear in his shoulders. "...You ok?" Woody took a deep breath which could be heard clearly in the otherwise silent room. Still not answering, Woody dropped the boot to the floor and Buzz saw the arm that had been holding it brush over his face; attempting to remove traces of the tears that both knew had been seen. Bringing his knees up to his chest Woody wrapped his arms around them, tiredly resting his head on his knees with a small sigh. Buzz walked closer to Woody, staying slightly behind his right shoulder; aware that his friend would not have wished to be seen right now. Tentatively, Buzz reached out a hand and placed it on Woody's right shoulder. "You ok?" he repeated quietly. Woody seemed to take a long time in answering.

"I don't know Buzz." He spoke wearily.

Taking his hand off of his shoulder Buzz looked around for something to sit on. Finding a small pile of discarded books Buzz took two and stacked them on top of one another, lowering himself on to them he sat slightly to Woody's right, watching his friend; eyes full of concern. Neither spoke for a while and Woody continued to stare at his knees; aware of Buzz watching him. Finally he spoke again.

"I always dreaded...Andy" Woody's voice faltered as he spoke the name, "...growing up. I used to think about it... every birthday, Christmas. And now it's happened." He paused. "What do I do now Buzz?"

"I know, I know" Woody answered his own question. "We've got Bonnie, and she's a great kid. It's just..."

"She's not Andy" Buzz interjected quietly. Woody stared determinedly at the dusty floor again.

"These past two weeks" Woody began, trying to control a voice which trembled slightly "I've just been trying not think, and when it's busy, playtime, when we're with the others then I can stand it, but... nights like this I just can't stop thinking. I could be in college with him right now Buzz! All those times where I've thought I was going to lose him forever and I, _we_ have got him back! We've jumped from a moving plane, lit that rocket strapped to your back, and yet this time I stood there, when I could have been going with him, and watched that car drive away. I don't even know if I did the right thing anymore. I can't stop thinking about it Buzz and it's driving me crazy. He's gone, Buzz. Andy's gone, and..." his voice broke and for the first time he turned, looking directly into Buzz's face; eyes once again full of tears "...I'm never going to see him again am I?"

Buzz took some time before answering, the lump in his own throat becoming more and more painful. When he could trust his voice again he spoke.

"Woody, Sunnyside is full of toys with stories just like ours, there are toys everywhere who have felt what we're feeling now; look at Jessie!" He paused before continuing speaking "I know it doesn't make it any easier but there's proof everywhere that toys- like us- can come through something like this and be happy again. Imagine if there had been no Andy, Woody? It wouldn't feel like this right now, but would you trade in all the times we had with Andy just so it wouldn't hurt so much now? He smiled, eyes shining both through the memories and his own tears which he knew now sparkled there as he too thought of Andy. Woody's gaze was on Buzz, watching him intently. "We did our job Woody, and we did a good one. We were there for Andy when he needed us; and that's what we're made for, right? You taught me that."

Woody nodded, "he's a good kid. I guess we were pretty lucky."

"I'd say we got pretty lucky second time around too. There's a kid in that room who thinks we're the greatest; hand-picked by Andy!" He stood up with sudden energy and held out a hand to pull Woody to his feet. "You ready to do it all again Cowboy?"

Woody looked up at Buzz for a moment before accepting the hand and allowing himself to be helped up "you know, I think I might be". Buzz smiled at his friend, clapping an approving hand on his shoulder before turning towards the door and leaving the room.

Picking up the torch from the floor Woody took a moment to gaze around the room. Boxes of items filled the shelves; packed away, forgotten. Andy had saved him from this, had given him Bonnie; a child who loved him and whom he knew that, given time, he too would come to love. It was time. Backing towards the door Woody took one last look at the room, knowing he would not come there again.

"Bye Andy" he whispered. "Thank you". And clicking out the light Woody followed Buzz back to Bonnie's room. They were her toys after all and would be there when she woke up.

**Authors note: Thanks for reading. This is my first go at publishing a story on here and I hope you enjoyed it. **

**I was inspired to write this after Toy Story 3 because I felt that adjusting to life without Andy may have taken some time for each of the toys- especially Woody- and I wanted to explore how that may have showed itself. I also love the friendship between Woody and Buzz and loved the idea of Buzz keeping an eye out for Woody after Andy's departure.**

**I was 11 when Toy Story first came out, I love both of the characters and really enjoyed writing about them both. I felt so sorry for Woody while I was writing this that I must confess (although I am actually 26 now!) I had a nostalgic moment where I dug my old Woody doll out of the cupboard and gave him a sneaky hug. (Can't believe I'm admitting that on a public forum!)**


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